Let us review a little of the storyline, shall we? (Fast Forward from the beginning) Snow White is frolicking around in the flower field while the guard (who was assigned to kill Snow White by the Queen) waits for an opportune time to kill her. This might seem fairly evil for the Queen, but we will get into her motives later. Tra la la, Snow White skips merrily about, seemingly not knowing that the guard is going to kill her. This, in fact, is too naive for our cunning villain to be. She is obviously using her feminine wiles to get her way with the guard. She pulls her little innocent act and puppy dog eyes, and then the guard goes and kills an innocent deer (someone call PETA, because that is so very wrong) in the place of Snow White.

After a short travel through the forest, Snow White comes upon a house. So, what does she do? She goes inside, blatantly trespassing on someone's property. Once inside, she makes herself at home, and lets a bunch of animals into the house. She begins to straighten up the house, and many viewers interpret this as her being nice to the occupants of the house and tidying up after them. This too is a lie, she is actually cleaning the house for her own use, to house herself and her army of animals (who are not evil in and of themselves, but are under Snow White's evil magical powers).

When the occupants of the house return, she sees that they are all male. She immediately works her feminine ways and gets them under her control. She has enough power over these poor little men who haven't seen a woman in a very long time, that she can already order them around. She has them adapt to her cleaning habits and the like with blatant disregard for their own wants and desires. She decides to commandeer their mining operation, without even their knowledge of it. She sends them off to the mine every morning along with a kiss, and occasional grab on the ass to keep them under her control. They slave at the diamond mines all day long, Snow White just sits at home and has the men do all of the work for her. They do not know that they are collecting diamonds for her, but they are mere pawns in Snow White's game. Also, we see a dramatic momentary decrease in the animal population in the house, and magically, a new dress and a *feather* pillow appear. It is quite obvious that Snow White either killed the animals herself or had the dwarves do it (again, where is PETA in all of this??), but either way, innocent animals were sacrificed for the evil one (Snow White).

Luckily, our hero comes to save the day before she makes off with all of the diamonds, or goes on a murderous rampage through the forest. Our hero, of course, being the fantastic and amazingly self-sacrificing Queen, that originally tried to destroy the evil that mortals know as Snow White. Our Queen uses her own powers to disguise herself as an ugly old hag (quite the sacrifice if I do say so myself), so that Snow White would not recognize her. Our hero takes the poisoned apple that she prepared in advance to the dwarve's house, and attempts to get Snow White to eat it.

While our hero is there, the camera captured an event that it wasn't supposed to. One that was edited out of the Disney version of the Snow White documentary. While our hero is talking to Snow White, in the background, we see a deer attacking a rabbit. This is obviously the poor deer's way of keeping up the animal death quota for the Evil One, so that his own life can be spared.

Our hero tricks the Evil One into eating part of the apple, and she passes out. Her task accomplished, our hero attempts to leave, only to be confronted by an angry mob of dwarves who were alerted to our hero's presence by some of Snow White's animal army. Our hero is chased around by the dwarves, and eventually falls into a gorge. Whether she survived this catastrophe is unknown, but if she did, she went into hiding for a while, because her whereabouts were not disclosed in the Snow White Documentary.

Snow White is unconcious on the floor of the cabin, but soon enough, a prince stumbles upon her, and kisses her, awakening her. They ride off into the sunset to the princes castle, to live happily ever after, or so you think. In fact, she has stashed a small fortune in the dwarve's diamonds in her dress, and when the prince kissed Snow White, the poison was transferred to his body from hers. What the documentary does not show, is that he has less than 24 hours to live after this event.

All in all, a horrible tale of theft, betrayal, whoring around, and murder! And worst of all, evil wins in the end!

This movie gets 2 thumbs waaaaaaaay down from Neal.

Peace out, click here for more creatures and such.

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